Introduction

So now you know a ton of places, names and dates that really have zero relevance to the rest of what I was hoping this blog would be about. Not to mention those totally presumptuous photos at the end that 1) assume you cared  about my post enough to desire images of the aforementioned individuals and 2) infer that, in fact, someone is reading these somewhere. I did log on today and Google said that someone from Alaska viewed my first post. Whomever (I looked up how to use "whoever" versus "whomever" here...still not sure if I did it right) you are, great choice. If that was just Google making shit up to boost my blogging confidence...thanks.

So this post/chapter/module/segment was to kind of help paint the picture of what exactly a yuppie is as it relates to our current situation here in 2014. Like I said in the last post, I really do think that my generation is living in a unique time and that frankly so few of us like to write more than 40 characters that a good portion of it may go undocumented. Thus, un-ordained and unsolicited, I have taken it upon myself to attempt to showcase the plight of the millennial in his early years of the "real world."

Abstract art... 

Brief History of the "Yuppie"

What exactly does "yuppie" even mean? It's sort of an outdated term and has its roots, as do many great things, in the vernacular of the 1980's. According to various sources, one of which may or may not be a free online encyclopedia, Yuppie is slang for "Young Urban Professional" or "Young Upwardly-Mobile Professional." Since its inception the term has basically been used in the pejorative sense as a way to look down on kids coming into the work force who think they know everything. From The Big Chill to Wall Street, the term has been peppered throughout pop culture for the last 30 years. Below are some of my favorite yuppies.

This is Patrick Bateman from American Psycho. He likes long walks on the beach, the music of Phil Collins, and cutting your fucking head off when you kick it at his place after-bar. However, he has his priorities straight and knows the cardinal rule: whatever you do, do NOT mess up the suit. A textbook yuppie minus the serial murdering thing. 

Ah, yes. Classic Sheen here in his role as Bud Fox, the yuppie from Wall Street. If you have not seen the movie, it's about how this youngster teams up with a famous broker (Michael Douglas) to get rich...but at what cost? While Bud is supremely stupid and naive in this movie, his desire for cash and tail make him yet another quintessential yuppie. 

This is a hipster. NOT a yuppie. They have not been in any movies because nobody wants to watch a film about ethically sourced coffee and two people arguing over who listened to Arcade Fire first. 

The real Jordan Belfort and Danny Porush from The Wolf of Wall Street. These guys knew how to party...until their entire lives came crashing down and they went to jail. But still. Rock Stars.

Elaine, the hardest working member of the Seinfeld cast hands-down. So much so that now she's the Vice President.  

So, as you can see, the young urban professional has many makes and models. As long as the American population continues to churn out college graduates left and right the ideology and attitude will live on. The tenants of yuppiedom are unflinchingly rigid and pretty much revolve around instant pleasure. The following post will explain in detail the Ten Commandments for Yuppies.

About the Author

My name is Ryan Shirley. I live in Atlanta (technically Sandy Springs), Georgia and am currently 23 years old. I work for a sports marketing company in Norcross where I plan promotional events. I make $30,000 a year before taxes. I went to Georgia College and graduated in May of 2013 with a B.B.A. in Management and Marketing. Before that I did IT recruiting for about ten months in Alpharetta. It was the worst. My hobbies include: stand-up comedy, Braves baseball, Falcons football, Xbox 360, GameCube, N64, politics, religion, community service, Judd Apatow movies,  being outside, running, substance abuse and I went to the gym once.

I am a lifelong Georgian and grew up in west Cobb County about one hour from the city in a Catholic household. I have two parents, Gary and Karen and two siblings, Kellie and Colin. I am the oldest and both Kellie and Colin are currently enrolled at my Alma Mater.  I live with Grant Cappy, a fraternity brother and friend from college. We play too many video games. I have a girlfriend named Natalie Mason who I met my first week of college. We will have been dating for five years this August. Her hints toward marriage have gotten less and less subtle. I do love her, though. Make sure that's in writing.

I have essentially three groups of friends. One is from the neighborhood I grew up in called "The Broadlands." We all lived on the same streets and grew up in the late nineties and 2000's. Shit was crazy.

I have another group from high school. I went to high school between 2005-2009 and "Boom Boom Pow" by the Black Eyed Peas was the most popular song when I graduated. I actually really liked that song. Note the past tense in that previous sentence.

Lastly, I have a group of folks from college. Fraternity brothers, mostly. I was a Delta Sigma Phi in school. It's a pretty terrible organization on the whole. Despite higher earning power compared to our college days we are all still broke and trying to do this whole real world thing without being evicted or permanently condemning our livers.

If anybody 1) ever reads this at all or 2) they have read this far I would be pretty amazed. I just wanted to get some of the key names and locations in my life should anyone ever be curious who or what I am talking about in future posts if I ever write future posts.

The point of choosing today, July 16th 2014 to write this stuff down is I always enjoyed the literary process. Revising, editing etc... writing always involves a lot of re-imagining and I like that. I also think I am living in an interesting world and that it's worth writing about. Especially when you are a millennial yuppie.

Here goes nothing...

Me and Natalie, my very real girlfriend

Some of my friends

My siblings and I

Me and the folks